Well I am in Utah waiting for my grandbaby to make her grand entrance. Katrina called me on Wednesday morning the 18th of June and said she had gone to the Dr and had changed from 2.23 centemeter dialated to 3 + so I told her I'd pack and head to Utah. I was reluctant to leave as I needed my car serviced and our little dog had a rough week( she got skunked in our backyard and in the eyes). Eric got my car serviced and I ended up leaving NM @2:00pm. This trip gets longer and longer! Needless to say we made it up here thursday instead of Wednesday as Katrina was still doing okay and I was tired and afraid to drive through Price Canyon in the dark! We got here and so far no baby. A few false alarms though. I got a phone call from my son on Friday the 20th and said he was in a accident (taking our dog to the vet for a recheck on her eyes) He was a little hysterical, so I couldn't understand him. I told him to call his dad and then call me back. All I could understand was something about being hit by a black vehicle. Lina ( our dog) being taken over to the vets and Eric's chest and side hurting. My husband took off work to go meet Eric and by the time he got there, the cars were towed and he went with Eric to the hospital. I sat for 3 hours waiting for word and in the meantime called my daughter in NM to go get our dog and check on her. She called back and said that Lina was dead, a bump on her head and her neck was broken. To some this might not seem so bad, after all my son was talking and walking. We got news around 7:00pm that Eric just had a deep bruise from the seatbelt, but nothing was broken. They gave him pain medication and sent him home. I am so grateful he is okay, but am overwhelmed at the loss of our puppy. She was and will always be a part of our family and I am sure it will hit me even more when we go home and she is not there. I have had to take anxiety medication and sleeping pills at night. I do okay durring the day but pictures of what might have happened still come into my head when I try to sleep. I feel such a hole in my heart. I got Lina after having a miscarriage and was home alone with the kids in school. She's been such an joy and great company. I can't seem to feel better and my youngest son cried through his sleep a couple of nights. It seems to come and go in waves. My son's car is totalled and he is without transportation now. I had figured that all my kids at home were self sufficient at home while I was up here and he has no means of transportation now for work or to look for a job, not to mention band camp starting the end of July.I have never felt so torn. I have always been there for my kids in hard times and so many thoughts have gone through my head. If I had waited a few more days, I could have taken her to the vet, Eric's car would be fine and I wouldn't be in so much agony. However, if I had stayed, I might have missed my time with my daughter to see her have her first child. Life really stinks sometimes!!!!
I hope Zoe gets here soon so we can again feel joy and a new beginning. I also pray that my babies with be safe and healthy. It is so different worrying about your baby having a baby and if everything will be okay. Heavely Father gave me such an overwhelming capacity to love and it causes me much heartache sometimes.
